Popular Vermont rock quartet Phish have once again called it quits. The band had just sold a great portion of tickets for their summer tour when they decided they did not want to continue any more. Bassist Mike Gordon has decided to become a clothing designer specializing in neon and pastel colored tank-tops and tight pants as well as top hats and hi-top sneakers. Keyboardist Page McConnell will continue to live his life as the nicest looking musician in the music business. Seriously, don't you really want to just like, have lunch with Page or something, I feel like we'd really get along. Anyway, Trey Anastasio will become a motivational speaker for Gingers nationwide who feel disadvantaged due to their hair color. This will probably be a failure seeing as how the moment he tries to make a speech, somebody in the crowd will surely yell "Rebaaaaa!" Jon Fishman...... well Jon Fishman hasn't thought that far in advance yet because he's kind of baked. Now that Phish will be breaking up, the US government will be scrambling to find employment for all of the Phishheads who will finally try to get jobs.
In similar news, Dave Matthews band fans who have caught wind of the Phish news have begun recruitment initiatives to increase in both multitude and power. The goals of this coup of Dave-bro's have made their motives clear:
1. You must always talk louder than the band that is playing and make it impossible for anyone else on the lawn to hear music.
2. If you are underage, you must walk around with a 30-rack of Natty-Ice over your shoulder to show that you are underage but still drinking, because it's cool.
3. A dresscode of backwards Polo hats, offensively bright Vineyard Vines shorts, Lax jerseys, and boat shoes will be required of all Dave fans.
4. You must make people think that the Dave Matthews Band sucks just because their fans suck, which sucks.
APRIL FOOLS
from The Concert Buzz
Yeah. Very funny.
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